Brain Droppings

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I'll put some stuff in here, you put some stuff in there. Hey, don't put your stuff in there! That's my stuff! Here's another place! Put some stuff in here. And there's another place! Hey, you know what? We've got more places than we've got stuff! We're gonna hafta go out and buy . . . more stuff!!!' Finally you put away all your stuff, but you don't quite feel at ease, because you're a long way from home. Still, you sense that you must be OK, because you do have some of your stuff with you. And so you relax in Honolulu on that basis. That's when your friend from Maui calls and says, 'Hey, why don't you come over to Maui for the weekend and spend a couple of nights over here?' His wife, Brenda, died shortly after the book was published, so in the audiobook he said "I've had a great marriage..." instead of "I have..." If there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he’s at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn’t give a shit. Doesn’t give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.” – George Carlin Religion is like a pair of shoes…..Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.” – George Carlin

Since there was a 3-year gap between the printed book and the audiobook, a few things were changed due to changes in both Carlin's personal life and in the world in general.One of the fabulous aspects of "Brain Droppings" is that George Carlin delivers it himself. His timing is immaculate and he is the master of word play including puns, oxymorons, irony and general critique of our ridiculous use of language. For example, he feels we should "eliminate anyone who has a 'can-do' attitude or is referred to as 'take charge', 'all business' or 'no nonsense'." He suggests we "have these people sedated." Now, let's talk about traveling. Sometimes you go on vacation, and you gotta take some of your stuff. Mostly stuff to wear. But which stuff should you take? Can't take all your stuff. Just the stuff you really like; the stuff that fits you well that month. In effect, on vacation, you take a smaller, 'second version' of your stuff. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” – George Carlin Or maybe you could sell some of your stuff. Have a yard sale, have a garage sale! Some people drive around all weekend just lookin' for garage sales. They don't have enough of their own stuff, they wanna buy other people's stuff. George Carlin was easily one of the greatest comedians of all time, the best in my opinion. Apart from Richard Pryor, I can't even think of anyone who comes close to his talent, relevance and longevity.

So now you got a houseful of stuff. And, even though you might like your house, you gotta move. Gotta get a bigger house. Why? Too much stuff! Or maybe, put some of your stuff in storage. Storage! Imagine that. There's a whole industry based on keepin' an eye on other people's stuff. Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?” – George Carlin Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” – George Carlin Oh no! Now whaddya bring? Right! You gotta bring an even smaller version. The 'fourth version' of your stuff. Just the stuff you know you're gonna need: Money, keys, comb, wallet, lighter, hankie, pen, cigarettes, contraceptives, Vaseline, whips, chains, whistles, dildos, and a book. Just the stuff you hope you're gonna need. Actually, your friend's sister probably has her own dildos. Carlin's mid-2000s stand-up routines focused on the flaws in modern-day America. He often took on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture.

I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.” – George Carlin George Carlin's Brain Droppings (1997) is the third most hilarious book I have read in my life (after Wstep do imagineskopii (not translated from Polish to English, and most likely untranslatable) and The Third Policeman. I am rounding the rating up. Yay!